fucked it up

i'm a faggot :D

2009-10-01T20:04:41Z

:DDDDD.........
loveuloveuloveuloveuloveu~~

u better not delete this

♥xn

Seize the Day.

2009-07-27T20:49:13Z

There is no pot of gold.
a chase down the rainbow is as worthy as sisyphus' task.

to each his own of-course.

though my personal interest in the journey,
had lead to constant neglect of results, and rewards.
A waste of unreversible time.
~
Lets do ~
something fun,
something extraordinary,
something exciting,
something frightening.
something unforgetable,
something unregretable,
something impossible.
something forgivable,
something inconceivable.

something stupid.

Yet; as one may not expect, this unforgettable, shall never be regrettable;

Seize the Day.
lets see if my guardian angel can keep up.

It is a good view-point to see the world as a dream.

2009-06-11T03:24:49Z

As the legend goes;
Love,
trust
hope
................

and still am betrayed.

ill take care of you,
ill look after you.

I will forgive you,
i will forget you.

when you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up, and tell yourself it was only a dream.

Would you like to come with me, to my special place?

2009-02-13T05:22:54Z

No Control.

Darkness, darkness, total darkness.
Blink.

First sign of Light.

Wetness.
Blood?
No.
I am Sweating.
eye droppes down,
only to catch the needles swerve.
they shout 100 and 5.
Sudden sting in chest.
No air.
Breathe in.

blink.
Where am i?
Blur,
Everything around me is
a combined blur.
No Man's Land.

Makes no Difference.

Pulse.
I feel my heart in my neck.
The speeding beats dance
along with the needles.
Play.

Blink.
Feet Tremble,
Hands holding as hard
as life itself matters.
Shaking as well.

Fear fills every cell.
Every muscle is hard.
entire body is wet.

What have i done?

Finally a sign of reality.
Blink.
No, waking up was no
sign of a dream.

My wrist will not obey,
All my will is in vain.
I feel the sweat.
dripping.

Body does not respond.

Think logically,
Do not lose my cool.
another glance down.
Needle.
already screaming 140 and 7.

no good.
Breaking all the rules.

Insane.
Logic does not work anymore.
Lose my temper.

Nervousness slams
the wrist down.
Shaking so intense,
cannot distinguish body.

Flashback.
a second of previous life,
a face.
a different sky.

gone with another blink.
cannot concentrate.

160 and 8.

Why?
do not know.
Where?
Does not matter.

Another sign of carelessness.
This one's at will.

Head hasn't moved for 5 blinks.
staring ahead.

No longer worried of the swiftly
passing blur.
I am a part
of the blur now.

a familliar sound.
the voice of my soul.
I undrestand.
Completely.

i am not on no mans land.
I am where i belong.

I am not distracted.
i am Focused on ahead.

I am not Afraid.
it is my adrenaline

in my veins.
Blood switched with fire.

I am not nervous,
i am aflame.

I do not blink.
I Step ahead.
Adding to the long desired
Madness.

It is not my wrist that will not obey,
it is the thirst for fire
which reigns.

I know where i am.
I've been here before.
a dream.

Blink.
no more.
I feel the Roar.
190 and 10.
Limit.

awakened,
I am in control.

~ Alsen of G"AI, of GA"H and of the Nerium Oleanders.